The Gum Diary

My eHarmony Thing

2004-05-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

Hmm...

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive testing of married individuals. One of the requirements for it to work successfully is for participants to fall into our rigorously defined profiles. If we aren't able to match a user well using these profiles, the most considerate approach is to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching system is not suitable for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply would not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand that we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others

2004-03-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

Okay. Firstly, although we all know how great The Smiths's lyrics are, I find these especially moving and am making an art display honoring them. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me:

Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

Last night I felt
Warm arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

So, tell me how long
Before the last one ?
And tell me how long
Before the right one ?

The story is old - I know
But it goes on
The story is old - I know
But it goes on

Oh, goes on
And on
Oh, goes on
And on

So, continuing on in a surprisingly positive fashion, I asked Josh if he wanted to come to a St. Patrick's Day party and he said yes. So, now I have to plan this alleged party. I hope everyone likes corned beef because that's what we're having hos! That was meant to be "ho" in the plural form. I thought I'd clarify because it looks really strange to me. Anyway, this is the most progress I have ever made with someone I liked, so I am kind of proud of myself.
Oh, I guess I never mentioned how difficult it is for me to understand what Josh is saying. I know I have the tendency to mumble a lot, but people usually understand enough to make some sort of relevant response. With most of what Josh says, I have to just guess and make dumb comments based on the few words I did understand. Or, worse, if I don't understand anything, I just say "oh" or "yeah" or something similarly bland. Eh. Whatevah!
And thanks for the menu stuff Brian! I will fix it sometime this week. Later later. (You should find some video with a title like "Best Latin Comedians" and watch it because George Lopez is really, really hilarious. I would not lie to you on this.)

When I Feel Heavy Metal

2004-02-18T22:36:00.000-08:00

I was preparing to make some depressing post about how I always just expect some guy to suddenly come up to me and confess his love for me. I mean, I have never really considered that all those movie scene, love-at-first-sight situations never happen in real life. I had been thinking for the past few days that if I ever wanted a guy to take interest in me, I would at least have to talk to him.

Ha ha.

That was until today...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a guy actually asked for my phone number. It was Josh from my astronomy class, who I have mentioned before. This morning, he asked if he could borrow my highlighter and I said yes in a really raspy voice. I thought, at that point, my chances with him were pretty much shot. But later in class, during the lecture, he passed me his notebook and there was a note asking my for my phone number. So I wrote it down. Then he went through the painfully noisy process of ripping a piece of paper from his notebook, which he gave to me. It said (spelling corruptions included):

"[happy face, looking something like this: o_o only the mouth was curved into a smile] [His phone number] my name is Joshua i thought yer Batman shirt was neat."

Then, when he had to leave class early, he gave me another note that said:

"Bye Colleen see you monday [same happy face]"

Yay!

Also, does anyone know the css for the menu? I am pretty sure I can somehow permanently align it at the bottom without making tables, but I am not sure how.

Lyrics To A Song

2004-02-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

This song makes me happy...and sad.
Looper - Impossible Things #2
Maybe someday when I have the motivation (and desire to risk being sued), I will upload some songs...like that one.

Two Interactions

2004-02-05T23:03:00.000-08:00

1. Yesterday in astronomy, Josh asked if he could sit in the chair next to me and I said, "Absolutely!" I hope I didn't sound to enthusiastic. We didn't say anything else to eachother for the rest of class. I, unfortunately, got too nervous to begin any of the steps for some reason.

2. Last night, on my way home from film, some guy asked me if I could show him where the computer room was. So I told him it was in the other hall on the second floor. But he wanted me to take him there, although I didn't really know where it was myself. So I asked a group of guys outside where it was and they told me I needed to get a key from the office to get in. So this guy and I went to the office. The lady there made me leave my ID card there until I brought the key back. So I told the guy that when he finished in the computer room, he could turn the key in and bring my ID card to my room. But he still wanted me to help him find the computer room (the invalid). So we went up there and it was already open because there were some other guys in there. I thought he might give me back the key, but he didn't. So I went back to my room. Not long later, the guy came to my room with the key. I was going to go back to the office to get my ID card, but he just kept standing in the doorway. Finally he moved and walked with me back to the office. When we got there, he said something along the lines of, "It's been an absolute pleasure to meet you. I didn't know what to say, so I shook his hand and said something like, "You too." It was a fairly strange occurance. Eh. Maybe I had an opportunity there, but I didn't take it. I doubt I ever will.

How To Get A Girlfriend...and some other stuff

2004-02-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

I found a real, live guy here at school who I guess I can practice the Five Steps on. His name is Josh and he is in my astronomy class. I am choosing him mainly because he sits next to me and doesn't seem mean.
Apparently, according to the Five Steps, my grandmother was right and it is impossible for a girl and a boy to just be friends. I don't know if I can really accept that though. Eh.

Anyway, as far as guys getting girls to fall in love with them, sadly, the most effective way, according to studies, is sex. But this poses the problem of actually getting the girl into bed. I don't know if it would be this way for all girls, but here are what I think are the keys to getting a girl to have sex with you.

1. Be assertive and talk to the girl. Show her that you like her by acting very positively towards her. Don't be afraid to tell her that she's really cool. I, personally, would find it a little creepy if a guy I was just meeting told me I was "beautiful" or something. I would recommend staying away from compliments about her physical attractiveness. Although that's just me. You could say her shirt is cool or something...if it is. Anyway, yeah, compliment her and stuff. On average, girls are less confident about their attractiveness than guys are. Say a girl is a 5 (like on the hot or not scale, for example). She would probably only rank herself as a 3. But if a guy were a 5, he would consider himself a 7. So, what I'm saying is, assure the girl that she is someone worth liking and she will be more likely to get the picture.

2. You kind of have to be careful about moving on from here. As shown below in "How To Get A Boyfriend," there is sometimes confusion about whether a relationship is only a friend type of thing...or something more. I don't know what the secret to figuring this out is, but hopefully you will be able to tell when she likes you.

3. Once you have built a trusting and caring realtionship with her, etc., etc., she will probably "be in love" with you already. But that final guarantee is sex...which you shouldn't pressure her into or she will end up feeling bitter. This is why you need to be careful with "one night stands" and all of that because sex creates the feeling of closeness and connection for women...which leads very quickly to love. So...unless you can get the girl to sleep with you on the first date, you have to go through the rest of the steps like everyone else. And if she does sleep with you on the first date, she might already be immune to the love thing.

So, again, I am certainly no expert on the subject, but this is based on stuff from my sociology and psychology classes, which are often pretty accurate when it comes to relating the stuff to real life. I'll admit though, I paid less attention to this than I did on the ways to get a boyfriend.

Hopefully this helps. Hopefully it helps someone. I was also pretty tired when I wrote this, so I'm sorry if some of it (or all of it) is incoherent.

2004-02-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

I like this guy a lot.
Duke and Gonzo
Hot or Not is great.

Quiet Desperation

2004-01-31T21:55:00.000-08:00

My Hot or Not Matches

Heh heh. I like the GameStop guy and the guy who got drunk and paid for membership the most.

How To Get A Boyfriend: Knowledge Compiled From My Sociology And Psychology Classes

2004-01-31T16:17:00.000-08:00

Step 1: Be friendly and cheerful. Even if you think the object of your affection would not appreciate your positive attitude, you are wrong...he would.

Step 2: Be genuinely interested in what he says. Ask questions about him...but don't be pushy. Just give him the impression that you care about him...who he is, what he's interested in, what he thinks, etc.

Step 3: Continue steps 1 and 2 until you feel that the object of your affection considers you a friend.

Step 4: Spend time with TOOYA (the object of your affection). Continue step 2. You don't have to be constantly positive anymore, but it definitely helps. When people are around happy people, they feel happy themselves. You want to make TOOYA feel good about himself so he will enjoy spending time with you. Allow TOOYA to open up to you and be compassionate about his worries and problems. You should let yourself open up to him, too (not in that way...despite popular belief, sex is not the way to get to a man's heart).

Step 5: Once you have developed a good friendship with TOOYA and are spending time with him on a regular basis, you can move in for the kill. I am not exactly sure how this part works, but, according to studies, it shouldn't be too hard. Here is the big secret: When you spend time with a guy and develop a caring relationship with him, he will begin to fall in love with you. Really. This has been studied. So you can hook him, but as far as reeling him in goes, you're on your own. I, admittedly, don't know much about this. If you are lucky, at this point, he will make the next move. Good luck. It should work for you...and I hope it works for me. I wish I had known all of this earlier in life.